RACE REPORT: Great Six Flags Triathlon

A Race for Your Bucket List

I am not a roller coaster person, but how cool is it to rack your bike in the shadow of the world's tallest and fastest roller coaster? Welcome to The Great Six Flags triathlon.

Despite a kind of lame race at TriRock Asbury Park last week (lame in the sense that the swim was cancelled and my run was a joke), I was in high spirits for today's race. My limited training prompted me to switch from olympic to sprint distance. But precisely because I have had no time to train lately, I felt extremely happy just to get out there today. (Thanks to my mom who stayed over night and got up with V this morning and made her breakfast).

The Swim

The man-made lake was warm and there is a pretty nifty grandstand where families can sit to watch the action. It has often been said that triathlon isn't a spectator sport, which is basically true, but Six Flags was a reasonably good place for friends and family to watch. Moreover, racers were able to get cheap tickets to the park for the day, so if theme parks are your thing, this could be the perfect race.

The downer with the swim was that the entrance was slick and used a time trial rather than wave start (meaning you couldn't look around and compare yourself to others with same color caps and just see how well or poorly you are doing in relation to your peers). Further, the water was brackish and everyone exited covered in a kind of mud slime. I had a small chamois towel I'd left by my shoes at the swim exit, so I tried to get some of the goop off very quickly, but it was hopeless. Every inch of me was covered in what looked like viscous snail poop.

Another weird feature of this race is that there is a seemingly endless 0.3 mile distance to cover between the swim exit and the transition area where you get onto your bike. I was lucky to put my sneakers at swim exit, but I saw people trundling through the Black Beard's Lost Treasure cove in Croc shoes or flipflops. Some even ran barefoot. One word: Ouch.

There was something a little disconcerting about trying to follow the serpentine path of yellow arrows through the deserted theme park as the carousel lights twinkled and various arcade games whizzed and buzzed and clanged. I struggled to drive thoughts of the famous amusement park scene in Hitchcock's Strangers on a Train from my mind.

The Bike

The bike route began back in transition under Kingda Ka, the world's fastest and tallest roller coaster. The first bit, just getting out of the park, was a mess of loose pebbles, sand and potholes. I saw three different people fixing flat tubes on my way out.

The rest of the bike route winds through scenic hills in Cream Ridge, NJ, which is known as horse country. I noticed some people struggling with the hills, one chick was even walking her bike up one of them. It was early on in the loop, so that didn't bode well.

Although I wasn't able to maintain the 18.5mph average I've hit in my last two races, my time was reasonable (good enough for 7th place among women) and I quite enjoyed the beauty of it all. To put this in perspective, a year ago I was riding a rusty mountain bike I got at Target in 2003, and was averaging 14mph while trembling from head to toe from fear following a bad accident.

My one regrettable moment on the bike was when, on a steep downhill, I managed to pass through a thick cloud of gnats. Naturally they all adhered to the sludge coating my skin, except for the two that flew into my left eye. This was around mile 11 and there just wasn't any way to get them out of my eye while riding, so I spent the last two miles with my eye weeping as it tried to eject its passengers.

(Addendum: My friend Kathy stopped by after this race and assured me that when I finally make the move back up from flat pedals to clipless and get back on the tri bike she sold me, my speeds will increase and my leg exhaustion decrease. Those are goals for next season, as this one is drawing to a close and I am not up for changing things this late in the game.)

The Run

I have been struggling with runs lately and today was no different. The sun broke through the clouds as I set out, and even though I am certain my legs weren't over weary from the bike effort, I couldn't find my groove. I struggled and then struggled some more. Some of it was mental, but mostly it was lack of training and I knew that at the start. So I slogged along.

The final portion of the run passes through the Wild Safari area where I got to see llamas, an ostrich and even a big group of baboons. One baboon came down from its climbing structure, evidently intrigued by me and the other runners going by, and so ran along side us on the other side of the fence. And then I realized he was passing me.

I was passed by a baboon. I think that about sums up my run effort today.

Results

I finished 3rd in my age group, but that was out of three, so it doesn't count. I was 10th female in the swim, 7th female in the bike, but 37th in the run. Overall that was good enough for 17th place out of 52 female finishers. Meh.

Take aways 

If you have the opportunity to run under giant twirling teacups, through a pirate cove and past a baboon, you must take it! You only live once, people.

RACE REPORT: TriRock Asbury Park, NJ - 2014

Time for another race report, this time for TriRock Asbury Park, sprint distance.

The situation 

Asbury Park, Aug. 24, 2014 - The historic carousel building in the background

Like an idiot, I positioned two races on back to back weekends at the end of August, when I have perhaps the most hectic schedule of my entire school year. I believe I thought having them there would keep me motivated, but mostly it has stressed me out.

I was on a training roll after Jersey Girl Tri three weeks ago, but the past two weeks I have had to juggle childcare, start of work, and various personal calamities and haven't been able to train much. I hate the antsy feeling that comes from not being able to work out.

I have been treating my anxiety with significant quantities of homemade peppermint stix ice cream from Gil & Bert's, which has, in fact, helped a lot with the stress, but probably hasn't done much for my overall fitness level.

Motivation issues

Race face.

I dragged myself out of bed at 4:45am to get to the race feeling blob-like and missing my training buddy, Maria, who as been down with bronchitis all week and couldn't make it. (Note: These early wake-ups aren't as easy as they were when I had to do them twice a week for masters swim. Fortunately that starts again next week.)

Usually I start to feel pumped on the way to races. I listen to music, go through my mental checklists one last time. Today all I could think about was turning around and heading back to my nice warm bed. I honestly thought I might ditch out until the actual moment the airhorn sounded to start the race.

I yawned my way from the car to the transition area and set up my gear (the good news is I'm getting better at setting up and at being minimalist, which is key). While organizing my socks and shoes, I overheard some people near me talking about the swim portion being cancelled because of rip tides. I whipped my head around. WTF? 

Taking things in stride...literally 

Sure enough, the event coordinator came over the loud speaker a few moments later and indicated that we would be doing a run--->bike--->run course instead of a swim--->bike--->run course. The first run would be 1.3 miles to make up for the swim.

My heart sank. The swim is my best and favorite aspect of triathlon, Asbury is a lovely place to swim, and looking forward to it had provided about 60% of the motivation I'd used to get to the race in the first place. Instead I faced the prospect of extra running.

My running times have plateaued lately, as I have spent more time getting comfortable on the bike this season, trying to beat back the anxiety that came after my bike accident last summer. At this point I find it easier to go for a ride than to get out for a run, especially on hot days, the exact opposite of what I experienced a year ago.

Given the rough training weeks, my coach, Chris, had stressed that I needed to look at this race as a chance to enjoy the mere fact of being able to compete in triathlon, and to build my repository of race day experience. I focussed on that as much as possible.

Solutions 

Add caption

Here's what helped me get through the day:

1. Knowing that I was getting a lesson in flexibility by having to live without the swim
2. Listening to this big hairy dude on a cellphone berating a training buddy who was running late and was (like me) also considering ditching out and heading home...The guy kept yelling: "Man up, bro! Man up!" I felt he was speaking to me.
3. Since the stakes were low, I embraced the chance to people watch. Triathletes are funny people. 

Best people watching moments included: 

• spotting a dog in a race shirt; 
• watching a skinny Asian lady down both halves of a large beef burrito a mere ten minutes before the starting gun; 
• observing incredibly chivalrous port-o-potty etiquette; 
• picking up some new race lingo from a couple of young bucks who referred to their bike wheels as "spinnerets," a term I had perviously known only in relation spider anatomy, and which seemed both effete and tough at the same time; 
• counting the number of times one girl, in a group of five 20-somethings who were all wearing peach T-shirts, said "DUDE!"; 
• and noting that Zoot and Sugoi tri shoes are very much en vogue this season. 

Where possible I tried to take pictures. 

My race

My race went about as expected. I held a 9:15 pace for the first run section (a good speed for me). I averaged 18.4 mph (according to the unofficial results) on the bike (also good for me), and my final run was the labored slog I had anticipated. I am not a huge fan of running on the uneven boardwalk planks, though the ocean views are pretty. In the last mile the heat started to get to me, but I met a very enthusiastic guy named Bill and we pushed each other through the last half mile or so. I ended strong. 

Take aways: I learned strategies for taking race day changes in stride. I got some exercise. People gave me a medal and a banana for this. So I would call that a good day. 

Postlude: Some Thoughts on Corporate Race Companies

TriRock is owned by Competitor Group Inc. (which also owns a number of sports themed magazines and the Rock n' Roll marathon series, the NFL Run series and Muddy Buddy), a very much for profit entity that says it "represents a game-changing collection of dynamic media and participatory event assets." They also say they "deliver life-changing experiences." 

Is this true? Who can say. 

What I can tell you is that their health expo was paltry and that the actual amount of music, rock or any other kind, was minimal. However, their volunteer workers (yes, the massive quantities of money are being made on the backs of volunteer labor) were pleasant and well meaning, even though some of the race crew members seemed like homeless guys who had been handed blue shirts and told to set up orange cones. (Am I jaded for thinking that Competitor Group Inc. probably pitches the use of local homeless as "community service" when they are trying to impress potential clients?) 

TriRock Asbury Park finishers' medals from
2013 (left) and 2014. The guitar medalion
was also a bottle opener, for those moments
when you are opening a beer and need to make
clear you once completed a triathlon. 

Where other races donate almost all their profits to important charities like Parkinson's research or disaster relief, TriRock seems like it supports good causes just enough that they can say they that they do good and try to offer participants a way to feel good about spending $100 on registration. Competitor Group is a money making entity and charities eat into profit margins. On the other hand, because the event is delivered by professionals, it runs smoothly. There were some good vendors and one of the better post race food spreads I have ever seen. 

This year TriRock even improved their finishers' medals so they didn't look as chintzy as last year's. I suspect they got feedback and realized that was not a great place to try to cut costs. 

Will I do the race again next year? Probably not, but not because I object to TriRock. It's just not a great time to fit a race into my schedule. And besides: rip tides. 

Don't neglect your ceiling

If you are going to do triathlon, you will also have to do core workouts (crunches and some other stuff), so you may as well put something interesting on your ceiling to inspire you while you are lying there.

I put a couple of pictures and a poem up above my workout mat. I just wrote the poem in sharpie on a poster board. It helps me keep going.

Here's the poem:

in celebration of surviving
chuck miller

when senselessness has pounded you around on the ropes
and you're getting too old to hold out for the future
no work and running out of money,
and then you make a try after something that you know you
   won't get
and this long shot comes through on the stretch
in a photo finish of your heart's trepidation
then for a while
even when the chill factor of these prairie winters puts it at
   fifty below
you're warm and have that old feeling
of being a comer, though belated
in the crazy game of life

standing in the winter night
emptying the garbage and looking at the stars
you realize that although the odds are fantastically against you
when that single January shooting star
flung its wad in the maw of night
it was yours
and though the years are edged with crime and squalor
that second wind, or twenty-third
is coming strong
and for a time
perhaps a very short time
one lives as though in a golden envelope of light.

RACE REPORT: Jersey Girl Tri - Long Branch, NJ

Was it a good race? Hard to say.

(For a bullet point synopsis scroll to the bottom.)

My friend Julia and I arrived at 5:30am and set up in transition in pouring rain with my other workout pal Maria. The atmosphere was good; it was an all women race and there were lots of first-timers who were really excited.

Unfortunately after five minutes in the cold rain I was shaking like a leaf, walking around in my bare feet and soaked sweatshirt (forgot my flipflops, though they wouldn't have helped anyway).

I got in the ocean for a warm up swim, but mostly I was rolled around in the big breakers like I was in a laundry machine. I got sand under all my clothes which was not pleasant, but the water temperature was fine and the course was short so I knew I didn't need a wet suit.

The race was supposed to have close to 1,300+ participants. I think if you count relays, duathlon and aquavelo sections, along with the primary sprint racers, it came out to more like 1,000. The sprint itself had 875 finishers. I suspect some people stayed home because of the rain.

Jersey Girl Sprint Triathlon
Long Branch, NJ - Aug 3, 2014

Heading into the water I felt prepared. I haven't been at masters swim the last month, and didn't get much chance to swim on the Cape (seems odd, but true). Swimming is my natural element, however, and today proved a good day for me in the water. I started at my favorite spot at the front on the inside corner of the pack. I like to be as close as possible to the straight line out the first buoy, and I made a slight adjustment to compensate for the current and wave patterns.

The one thing I did get to practice in terms of swimming while we were on the Cape was open water starts in the ocean. That came in mighty handy. I made it through the breakers quickly and only saw a few people in my wave ahead of me (green caps). By the time we got to the first buoy I felt strong and saw only one other green cap near me. I stayed right on her hip to draft until we got to the second buoy and turned to head in, at which point I lost sight of her. We had to ride the breakers to shore, so I was concentrating on that. In the end I was third in my age group out of the water.

It was a short swim but a long run up the sand. I pushed hard and my heart was pounding going through transition, but I did it exactly like I'd practiced with my coach, Chris, on Friday. I ran through the puddles heading into the transition area and that got the sand off my feet. Sock. Shoe. Sock. Shoe. Belt. Helmet. Water. GO!! I was satisfied with my speed on that and it was good enough for 5th fastest in my age group. It is infuriating to lose time in transition, something I have struggled with before, so I was glad to see improvement.

Out on the bike course the rain was pelting down, but I had a huge advantage from having ridden the course with Maria the previous week. The first 2.5 miles had a lot of turns and I knew I couldn't easily get up to the speeds I wanted there, but I did much better than I'd anticipated. I hit the turn onto the straightaway and felt strong. I was passing people continuously, watching as my spedometer made it up into the 20mph range for a good portion of the first half of the ride. In the end I averaged a 18.5 mph for the 11 miles, which was good enough for third in my age group. Considering a year ago I was clunking along at 14-15mph, I would say I am making solid gains in this area.

At the turn around we had the wind in our faces and on the second half of the bike course it was much harder to keep my speed where I wanted it. Seemed like everyone else was dealing with the same thing though. I pushed and pushed, but realized as I came into my second transition that my stomach was hurting and I felt kind of gross. I took a few extra seconds to get some fluids in me. Thus my second transition time was a bit slower than it could have been.

Out on the run course, things wouldn't go my way. I had my Garmin on and wanted to hit those 9:15 miles like I have been in practice, but either I spent too much energy on the bike or a stressful week full of sleepless nights caught up with me. I was doing 10 minute miles and watching people in my age group fly by me. It was hard to keep my spirits up. In the final mile I pushed with all my might, thought about Valentine and all the love people have shown me this week, but there wasn't anything left in the tank. I had a stitch in my side, my lungs were wheezing.

To top it all off, just as I was two feet away from the finishing mats, some chick in my age group blasted by me, exactly like what happened at Jersey Shore.

That was a real low point.

I tried to remind myself that at Jersey Shore I knew I hadn't left it all out on the course where the run was concerned, whereas today I definitely had. Still, it is precious little comfort to realize I left it all out there and yet it was not up to what I knew I was capable of. I knew part way into the run that I didn't have a prayer of hitting the podium in my age group, and I had known it was a long shot in a race of this size, but still, I had hoped, particularly because I knew I posted a solid bike time. So there was some disappointment.

In the end, I came in 61st out of 875 (good enough for the top 8% -- I'll take that) and 13th in my age group, which was 160 people deep. I have never done that well before, so I should be happy with it but I have adjusted my perception of what I can do this year and so I can't help thinking about what I could have improved.

Looking backward for a minute, however, I realize that this time last year I would never have believed I'd be averaging 18.5 on the bike. I was doing 14-16mph in races and that right there was a struggle. I have made real gains with the biking, despite lingering fears following last year's accident. I still love the water and now just need to pull the running together and be able to put all the pieces together at the olympic distance. I've got my work cut out for me.

Additional stats: in my age group I came in 3rd on both the swim and the bike, and was 5th fastest coming through T1. Just as I thought, I lost time in T2 and nose dived on the run. But it was a solid effort.

I look forward to ramping back up for the rest of this month, ready to power through TriRock Asbury Park on the 24th and then do my first olympic distance at Six Flags on the 31st.

Today's big take away: I am capable of so much more and because I truly love triathlon and have so many great friends who train along side me, I knew I will do better in the future.

IN BRIEF: 

Good things about this sprint triathlon:

• came in 13th in my age group out of 160, and 61st overall out of 875
• plenty of good energy on the course, lots of cheerers and spectators despite the rain
• I got to rack next to (and hang out with) my new friend Julia and my workout teammate Maria
• people cheered for me because I was wearing my Jersey Girls Multisport team jersey
• I felt strong on the swim and bike sections and maybe improved my transitions a tiny bit
• there were a lot of first timers at the race and they were very enthusiastic; it was nice to be able to help out and to be encouraging
• I like the finishers' medal 

Things about this tri that could have gone better:

• I couldn't get much sleep the night before
• It was raining hard (though, I grant you, that's better than heat) and I got very cold
• the ocean waves left sand all in my kit so it was grinding and chafing me all race
• my run didn't go as well as I wanted, and I got passed by someone in my age group right at the finish line...again
• I really wanted a bagel afterward and there were turkey sandwiches instead; I can't get with a turkey sandwich at 9am

When life is dark, can you get your butt to the park?

WARNING: This post is not a post about triathlon training. It is not a race report. In fact, it contains things that may look like advice, but are actually my empirical evaluations and speculations about the world. It is not meant to be more obnoxious self help crap you don't need. I have zero qualifications. I am not Oprah. I have made so many disastrous decisions in my life, I am in no position to offer advice to anyone. Please ignore anything your good sense tells you is off base.

Reread the warning before you begin.

Now, several blog followers have written to to say they appreciate my positive attitude and my candor about my journey. What people seem to really respond to is the evidence that it is possible for an average person, even late in life, to make permanent and substantial changes to improve their mental and physical health. I love these letters. They make my day.

However, a few people have also noted that as much as they want to improve their own health in a similar way, they don't think it would be possible given their complex lives and quantity of stress. In this post I want to delve into that issue in more depth, because it deserves thoughtful consideration.

ARE YOU IN A POSITION TO CHANGE?
First, I think we must consider just how serious and dire people's personal situations can be.

If you are living in circumstances where:

• your basic needs are barely being met or aren't at all
• you are in physical danger or living with ongoing fear (real or perceived)
• you have little or no social support
• you are coping with untreated medical conditions

then you are absolutely right to balk if anyone suggests that with a little effort you could turn things around. In fact, I would be impressed if you managed to merely roll your eyes and walk away, rather than slapping the person who plied you with such platitudes in the face, which would be a perfectly rational response. (*See post script for more thoughts on this)

I am sure somewhere out there there is a mother of five living in a refugee camp training for a marathon. Super human people exist. But I can't tell you where they find their strength, because I am not that strong. I admire them beyond belief and hope God has stashed in me a tiny speck of their courage and determination. I am nothing like those people. I like to think I'm a good time, maybe have a little skill at my job, try to be a good friend and whatnot, but I am not a hero.

So that begs the question: who is really going to be able to make substantial life changes and under what conditions, particularly if they are certain they are of average courage?

Maybe you aren't living as a sex slave or being held by a terrorist group, but what if you are caring for a very sick family member in your home, or raising a disabled child, or working four low-wage jobs, or being stalked by a crazy ex, or struggling with addiction? Sometimes what are dismissed as "first world problems" are very serious obstacles to making life changes.

If I am honest, I know I longed to change my path for years, made some attempts that failed and then felt like swamp sludge. The cycle of attempt-failure-shame was hard to stop. I kept thinking: here I am, a middle-class person with a job and many advantages, how come I can't pull myself together? 

I was sure it was a mark of my fundamental laziness and poor character that I would do ten sit-ups during a commercial break and then slink into the kitchen for a pint of mint-chip. Now I look back and see all the things that were working against me at that time and feel a little amazed I even did the ten sit-ups.

THE MINIMUM FIVE FOR NORMAL HUMANS
In my own process of change, given that I know full well I am of average discipline and courage, I have concluded that the following five minimum conditions must be met for a person to have enough room to enact significant fitness and health changes:

1. You have to have at least two people who care about you and are encouraging at every step, and at least one has to be a mentor or friend you talk to frequently (these people can live far away, but they can't be secretly, even subconsciously, trying to undermine you out of jealousy or because you threaten their own sense of the world)
2. You cannot be living with someone who is maintaining the exact kind of unhealthy lifestyle you want to move away from (and by unhealthy lifestyle, I mean anything from having a constant negative attitude to being a sedentary, lethargic overeater) 
3. You can't be working three or more jobs, especially if you don't know what your schedule will be from week to week (though you can be going to school and working one job or two part time jobs)
4. You have to be certain you will be able to pay the bills and keep a roof over your head (that does not mean you don't have debt)
5. You can't be in an abusive relationship or fighting addiction or an under-treated medical condition (you can, however, be in a situation where you are caring for other people's very large needs, including the needs of children and those with health problems)

It helps if the supporters live close by, if you have a steady job with benefits, if you have a tiny crumb of self esteem and so on, but we can't have everything. 

If you are dealing with abuse or addiction or a major health problem, I think you are probably going to need to draw on external resources (doctors, therapists, treatment) before you can start activating the internal ones needed to make the kinds of changes I'm talking about. 

Bear in mind, these are just my observations. Don't assume if you don't have all five of these things in order you can't get there. But I think a lot of people need to chip away at the impediments one at a time until they have things in order before trying to make other bigger changes (* Again, see post script for more thoughts on this). If you don't address the problems listed above, I think you will probably find, as I did, that you are repeating the attempt-failure-shame cycle. 

I ALMOST MEET THE MINIMUM REQUIREMENTS. NOW WHAT?

Guess what I'm not going to say? I am not going to say "take it one day at a time." I am not going to say "keep a smile on your face and be grateful for what you've got." I am not going to say "God gives you what he thinks you can handle." If you have seen it on a poster in a guidance counselor's office, I am not going to say it. Mantras can be helpful (see previous post), but platitudes are really annoying.

(Note: Much of what follows is discussed in earlier posts, but this is a cheap summary)

TRIGGER

As far as I am concerned, the way you start is usually that the discomfort is building for a while and somewink wink) triggers in you a sudden yearning to change. For me it was the day my daughter saw my belly exposed and said: "Oh, mama, you don't have a belly button." I was so big, the kid could not see my belly button. That got to me way more than my blood work that showed I had pre-diabetes and high cholesterol.

Took this the same day as the belly button convo.
I am pretty sure you do NOT want to see the belly button pic.

particular incident or moment (or blog post...

MAD DASH

When this moment hits you, you must jump to your feet before your low self-esteem kicks in, put on your sturdiest shoes and go for a slog. Maybe it's not a jog exactly, but make it more than a walk. Try to go for 20 minutes. That's the amount of time that I've heard somewhere is what it takes to release enough endorphins to help elevate mood. If you hate running, and you probably will after that first run (let's call it a run), that doesn't much matter. You don't have to stick with running, but it's cheap and if you had to get your golf clubs and shoes on and get down to the country club at the moment the trigger came, lord knows you'd never make it, not if you are anything like me, anyway. 

ANNOUNCE PLANS

Announce your plans to yourself and your mentors. Wait to put it on Facebook until you've got a little momentum going. 

GO TO STAPLES FOR SUPPLIES

I am a hugely visual person, so while those minimum number of endorphins from the first run were still

Here are the first year's worth of posters. I have all of

the second and part of the third year on this wall too.

sort of working, I went to Staples for poster board and post-it notes and started making these big old wall calendars that I planned to use to track my progress. I like the smell of Elmers glue, I like colored markers (particularly the turquoise and amber shades), and I like crafts projects. So I accidentally rewarded my own running efforts with the chance to sit around and glue stuff to poster board and then stick it to the wall like a first grader. In fact, I let my first grader help out. 

ASK WHOOPIE FOR HELP

I put the boards in a place where I had to see them all the time. I made six months worth of calendar, which seemed outrageous, but I figured what the f**k.  I printed out and glued on pictures of my favorite celebrity role models and gave them little speech bubbles that said things like "Go for a run, Holly! It will make you funnier!" That was Whoopie Goldberg talking. I also had Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Oprah, the Indigo Girls, my best friend Kathy and a bunch of others on there. It may not be Whoopie for you, but you need voices of support. 

PHOTOGRAPH YOUR BELLY BUTTON

My first goal was to run five days per week. I was 230lbs. I was obese. I took a picture of my fat self with no belly button and hid it in a folder on my computer. I told myself to forget it was in there but reminded myself that folder had some kind of goal in it, it wasn't a fat shaming folder. The goal was belly

Whoopi helped

button. It was a lot easier to think "belly button" than to think "remove 70 pounds." Obviously you don't have to photography your own belly button, but you may want to find a way to mark the occasion, telling yourself you will someday need it to show yourself how far you've come. 

For those early runs I set myself the task of slogging two miles. It seemed like a marathon, but also like a minimum distance that a human should be able to go, even if they were the size of an orca. I was running 13 minute miles so it was hard to pretend I couldn't carve 26 minutes plus time for a shower out of my day for this.

I wore baggy clothes, was sure people were staring and laughing at me, and ran faster when I saw trees up ahead so I could hide in heavily wooded areas. It was also hot out. It was July. So the shade was nice. During each run I sweated the amount an entire NBA all stars team does during a full season. 

DO SOMETHING CRAZY

Every day I wrote on my wall calendar the number of miles I had run. I took two days off per week. When I ran 3 in stead of 2 miles for the first time --and nearly fainted from exhaustion-- I put a huge smiley sticker on my board. It's surprising how childish things like stickers can help. I had a tiny scrap of momentum behind me. 

After a week, feeling slightly almost a tiny bit proud of myself, I decided to cut out sugar and carbs but not limit anything else in my entire diet. Please let me be clear: this is not a miracle diet. In fact, this is a diet that may not get anyone anywhere. Low carb could be just be a fad. Basically any calorie reduction is something and for me lots of protein seemed to help me not dive for the Ben & Jerry's. 

My craziest maneuver came at the suggestion of two friends. I signed up for a half marathon that was two months away. I needed a goal. I liked being able to justify my need to take a tiny scrap of time for myself to run by telling people I was training for a half marathon. At work I heard people accidentally mentioned to others that I was training for a marathon (rather than a half marathon). I did not correct them.

Bit by bit the momentum built up. I liked how I felt. I faltered a bit here and there. I kept going. I added stuff when I felt like it. But it wouldn't have made much progress if those five requirements I mentioned hadn't been satisfied. 

In particular I would have failed if I hadn't had support from my wife, if my daughter hadn't cheered for my belly button, if my friend Kathy hadn't sent me that pair of socks, if my friend Maria hadn't invited me to workout with her, if Ruth Bader Ginsberg hadn't told me she could run faster than me while carrying a lace doily on her head...It was a team effort.

Hey Girl! You know you want to run with me.

CAN YOU DO IT?

I don't know what your situation is, but if you are dealing with problems that are vaguely, sort of, almost manageable, you can do it. I did, and I'm nothing special. I didn't say you'd have to get up at 5am or take a spin class or get a fancy pair of shoes. Maybe at some point on the journey that will seem reasonable, but first run for 26 minutes. That's enough. That's Facebook time. And then send me an email and let me know what you are up to so I can cheer for you. Then I'll send you some socks and if you live in a 500 mile radius I'll come meet you for a slog. Sound like a deal?

Yes, I think you can do it. 

______________________

*POST SCRIPT

Last year I had a student in one of my English classes who told me she was going to write her end of term research paper on how the obesity problem in the United States was the responsibility of individuals. They had made themselves fat, she told me, and they were the only ones who could do anything about it. 

She was a black woman in her late 30's and identified herself as obese. I asked her a bit about her own experiences. She told me she lived in downtown Trenton. She had no car and the only grocery options she could walk to were Muncheez, 7-11, WaWa, fast food and a Dominican bodega. She was a Navy veteran and mother of three and she was caring for her mother-in-law who had lost one leg to diabetes. They lived on the third floor of a housing building and there was no elevator. Her family did not qualify for food stamps. That's right. She didn't meet the requirements from food stamps based on some aspect of her status as a veteran. There were no parks that were safe for her children to go to in their neighborhood. 

As she went on, I thought she was going to see that personal agency might play only a small part in her own situation and potentially the obesity epidemic as a whole. Instead she concluded by saying: "I know I am fat. I know I put shit in my mouth that I shouldn't. I am just lazy." 

I told her she needed to do the research to see if her position was supported by current research into the field of obesity. I felt hopeful that she would be thorough and would be persuaded out of her original view. 

She eventually accepted, almost as if it upset her to do so, that the preponderance of data suggested institutional problems played a larger role than personal agency in cases such as her own. I realized as I was grading her paper, however, that the whole thing must have been a let down for her. If the problem was mainly she lived in a system that was set up so she'd fail, then her desire to have better health by mustering up a bit more resilience was almost certainly hopeless. 

I regret that I let her write that paper and hope she just put what she learned out of her head. I should have encouraged her to research sustainable agriculture or something. I see my students arrive every day with the American Dream tattooed on their hearts, and it is soul crushing to realize how few of them will be able to overcome all that is conspiring against their success. 

Still, I do see successes, and this student did land a job at a medical office. She credited the unit I did with the class on resume writing and job interviews with helping her get hired. She was really happy she'd have regular hours so she could sit with her son after dinner and help him with his homework. She wasn't talking to me about her weight anymore.