Bassman and looking ahead

As Valentine celebrated turning 7, I celebrated by getting rid of my stash of candy, re-downloading my Overeaters Anonymous app that had been culled from my phone in one of my organization frenzies, and renewing my commitment to keep healthy for myself and my family.

It is mid May, as I write this, and I’ve lost 10 pounds. I’m 3 lbs away from “normal” weight, but 10lbs above where I was this time last year. Weight loss maintenance is at least as challenging as weight loss itself. Finding motivation to get back on track when you feel like you’ve screwed up is difficult, but there are bound to be wobbles and beating myself up isn’t going to help.

So I have given myself a pat on the back for at least sticking with the swimming, forgiven myself for not eating better and running, and have acknowledged it was a tough winter, that’s all there is to it. I am back to my more serious workouts and feeling much stronger and happier. I’ve gotten my eating under control (the never ending battle) and started really pushing myself with the swimming and the rest of the training for triathlon season. I remind myself this is a life-long process, and that at least now things like McDonalds or a fridge full of leftovers from take out are just hard to imagine. There’s no lure there anymore. We have a better stocked fridge as a family and we spend more time outdoors than we used to. That feels normal now. Last weekend I did a ½ Ironman relay (Bassman) serving as the swim leg for a team made up of me, my friend Patti from masters swimming on the bike (her strength) and our mutual friend Tom on the run. The race was a disorganized mess, but I felt grateful to participate in it. It felt like an affirmation that I am, in fact, an athlete. I hopped right in the 58 degree water in my new wetsuit and finished 5th out of all the women in the water. Not shabby after a rough winter.

Next Sunday, less than a week from today, I will be back to Red Bank for the triathlon that started it all. I know more now and feel more confident. Sure I’m a bit battle scarred, maybe a little heavier than I'd like, but I feel pretty good. I’m optimistic for the summer ahead. I have many races planned including several that will include new friends of mine made entirely through sport.

The race I am looking forward to most is the Great Six Flags tri on August 31. It will be an olympic distance and I am excited to have my family there, to compete along side my friend Maria, who has become my training buddy, and to get to run through the safari on the run portion. Oh, I hope I see a giraffe!

I have so much to enjoy. I feel blessed. It’s all a work in progress, and some days are so so hard, and sometimes I feel the pull back into the old cycle of self sabotage, but I fight back. I fight hard. I have so much to be grateful for. I can’t let go of that.