It was around this time, maybe a bit earlier, that my weight loss really slowed down. I dropped steadily from 170 down 165 in November, but posted no significant losses after that. In the next six months I’ve made it as low as 157 but mainly hovered at 162. Part of the reason for this is that I began to need more fuel to carry out the training runs, and part because the super low carb diet simply isn’t easily sustainable. I am not even sure it’s very healthy in the sense that processed deli meats and slabs of steak (which are low carb diet staples) can be full of hormones and other nasty crap that isn’t great for your body. Moreover, though it’s better not to be obese, eating a lot of fat (which is permissible on South Beach and most other low carb diets) can be terrible for your cholesterol. At last check my cholesterol was high, but not so high that they wanted me to worry about it. Still, I’ve cut out red meat since then.
Low carb - low sugar (LCLS, as I have affectionately named it) was an important part of losing the first 65 lbs, and may need to be employed again to take off the remaining 15, but I knew at some point I’d have to learn to eat a more balanced diet. I might have to take time to learn what “balanced diet” actually means, and I’d always have to be vigilant not to slip into the old half-a-pan-of-brownies habits, but never eating another piece of bread for the rest of my life was not a reasonable plan. Even sugar is something I knew I’d need to have if I wanted to do longer endurance events. Foregoing Gatorade when you’re in the middle of a triathlon, because you are determined to avoid sugar, is self sabotaging.
I still have not completed the process of learning to eat sugar properly. I may never complete that process. It’s a process, afterall. My instinct, to this day, is to stick my head inside a vat of Nutella and lick my way out, then hide a few sacks of Lindt chocolates in my bedside table drawer (“just in case” as my evil addict mind would have suggested...In case of what, I will never know). Some sweets are serious triggers for binge eating where I am concerned (see Nutella, Sour Patch Kids, Twizzlers, candy of all sorts, doughnuts) so those I really cannot eat. I don’t dip into Valentine’s candy stash because I simply would not stop. M&M’s? I can eat a pound bag full. Hershey’s kisses? Same thing. Chocolate chip cookies? Forget it. Valentine has Nutella on her morning Eggos, and I don’t even lick it off my fingers if I should happen to get some one me. It’s too dangerous.
But I have found that I can eat Coconut Bliss vegan ice cream bars (vegan sweet treats are surprisingly delicious!), fruit (I’d completely forgotten fruit was a thing!), sports drinks and energy bars, among other things. I put honey in my tea, have the occasional java chip frappucino light from Starbucks. I’ve even had the odd cupcake or pastry now and then, and I let myself have desserts at nice restaurants. I think if I crack down too hard, it’ll just make sweets seem even more desirable and I don’t want to make them the central focus of my thinking. Redirecting my thoughts is a crucial, but the old troll addict lives on inside me. The best I can do is tie him to a chair with ropes, gag him with a bandana, and leave him in the abandoned airplane hangar in my mind. When he shakes that bandana out of his mouth, I sometimes have to go back down there and put it back in. He’s relentless.
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